With so many different kinds of camera are out there, each eye behind the lens different. The person taking the photograph is inherently connected to their own vision of beauty, connected to their own emotional being. The way I see it, the person behind funnels into the camera and its technology and funneling back out through the other side is the subject matter, what their being creates. In front, beside or behind the camera, they’re all interesting places to be.

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Growing up in a community where self-expression is valued and performing from a young age I grew up to see the lens as a means to capture moments or create them. These pictures of me are something in-between those. These photos came together stemming from a casual experiment, and it happened to be during the time I had white blond hair.

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I have never been shy about standing in front of the camera. With my ‘porno blonde hair’ as the hairdresser liked to call it, I was asked to model for a friend of a friend studying fashion at the time, called Agata. Our mutual friend Maria was in training to become a stylist and she did the makeup. The photographer was Vanja Bućan, she used a beautiful old analogue camera. The photographs were taken at the OT301 in Amsterdam, which used to be a squat building.

 

The blurriness was an accident though, they came out that way because the old camera was partially broken it turned out. Although the blurriness does not lend itself to see the details of the fashion pieces, it adds a dream like quality to the photographs enhancing the ease with which to get lost in them.